The Innocence of a Child

I have had a slew of thoughts and feelings that I wanted to record lately, so this may seem a bit scattered, but here is an attempt to record them all the same.

Yesterday, as luck would have it, I had an experience that caused me to reflect on these and new thoughts as well. My daughter has recently entered into the "imitate everything you do" stage in life. It has actually been pretty exciting for us as parents to see her pick up on so many new things every day, but the more it seems to happen, the more aware I become of the example I am setting. Am I truly who I want to be? Am I teaching her the proper things to love and value? I know this is just the beginning of a great journey on this road... I hope that I can get my map leading us both where we want to be in the end. I am so grateful for the opportunity to be a mom and to be given stewardship over such precious gifts as these beautiful children.

With that being said, my daughter had been cooking up a storm of blocks all day. She of course kept offering us taste tests, but she kept them stewing in her little red pot all afternoon. It was about 6:00 when I had finished baking our meal for the evening. I turned off the oven and began to prepare to set the table, when she toddles over with pot in hand, and opened the oven! She was just about to stick her pot of blocks inside when I quickly caught her from doing so. I was shocked! She had never even come close to being interested in the oven in the past. As I grabbed her arm and firmly told her that this she wasn't allowed to use the real oven yet, she looked at me with the saddest eyes, as if to say, "what did I do?" It broke my heart! I quickly told her that the oven was hot and dangerous and that she was just to little to use it yet, but that of course, did little to avail her tears.

As my husband and I consoled her, I realized that she was incapable of knowing that the oven was hot, or even what that would mean (even though she has burned herself a few times already on other things!). She was completely innocent. I was immediately grateful for her sweet spirit, but I also thought of how I protected her from injury only because I had been right there. What if I had not? My thoughts then fell to the Lord and how He must often see his children walking into danger and want so badly to grab us and hold us back, but he must let us make our own choices. It is probably also true that often we are not so innocent in our decisions to walk into danger.

Coming full circle here, I have had experiences these past few months that have caused me to reflect on my choices, what they are, the impact they have on others, and what I want to do with them. The week before Thanksgiving some friends of ours were in a horrific car accident. Both the husband and the wife were critically injured, the husband wasn't expected to make it through the night. The couple was young. It was a difficult thing to accept for me, I had just spoken with them a few hours prior at church. The biggest thing that hit me however, was that these people were so good, kind, and "with it". He was our Elders Quorum President and there couldn't have been anyone better for the job. I immediately thought of the song lyric "Only the good die young,..." Luckily, I am glad to report that miracles took place, and they are both returning to normal life just a short time later, even though our friend should by all accounts, have been a vegetable. The experience quickly called me to think however, about the shortness of this life, and if I am prepared to cross to the other side. I hope and pray that I will be given sufficient time to perfect my oh so imperfect self, as I feel it will take years, but if my time is tomorrow, what decisions did I make today that will help me be better prepared for tomorrow? What decisions did I make today that will influence my children and my husband for good? What example was I for my daughter to imitate, and did I spare my Heavenly Father the heartbreak I experienced with the oven incident, by choosing the right and safe road over the danger, even though it may look like fun?

I hope to improve daily, with hopefully yet one more day still to come.